#8 ONE STRIKE AND YOU'RE OUT!

::Identities have been concealed with different names::

  I met Hayden working at a place down the street from my house while I was dating Dean.  He was one of the people that I leaned on for support through the drama that came with dating Dean.  I told him about the other guys that I dated and he would tell me that they lost something good. I heard this saying over and over throughout all the breakups.  So every time I heard that saying, I believed that it was just another way for everyone to say they were sorry and they didn't really care about it, nor the choice in guys that I was dating.
   Hayden and I started on a fun level.  We both knew enough about each other already because of our past friendship of working together, so that made me feel safe with trusting him with my heart.  I wasn't completely over Brent, but it wouldn't hurt to try the dating world again since it's been a year, and especially with a past really close friend.  I was proud of myself for choosing someone that I knew for a very long time already and he wasn't friends with any of my friends; so I didn't have a mutual friend that was a threat.
   We hung out a lot.  I got really close with my friend Valerie when Brent and I broke up.  We were hanging out practically everyday.  Then one night Hayden got off work early and he called to tell me that his best friend Mark was single and he wanted to hang out with us.  I told him, "Well, you're in luck. I just so happen to be with my friend, Valerie and she is also on the market!"  Valerie didn't like the idea at first.  She was very cautious about it.  She started rambling about if he was dangerous and if we were going anywhere she would be the one driving.  I told her, "Life is supposed to be lived, not afraid of."  With all of her might, she let her caution tape fly in the wind.
   When they arrived, Valerie got out of the car and back in the car. I was really confused and I got back into the car and asked, "What the hell, what's wrong?"  All she could say through a smile was, "He is so cute!"  I was so relieved, I jumped out of the car to face their confused faces and said, "False alarm!"
    That night Valerie and Mark immediately connected.  They had so much in common it was ridiculous. They ended up getting together and Hayden and I were proud of our little work of art.  We all went out on double dates for the whole summer and we had so much fun! Valerie and I got closer and we loved it. There was not one boring night when we all went out. It was like finding my second family in a way.
    Hayden and I decided to get intimate early on in the relationship.  I let him be intimate with me because being around him and being his girlfriend was amazing. The more I was around him, I didn't have the urge to smoke marijuana or drink.  It was a different feeling being around him.  He was on top of making me feel like a girlfriend and that made me feel good, but awkward at the same time within myself.  I was not used to being treated like a woman that had importance in someone's life.
   I asked him to come over and meet my family one day and he definitely made it clear that he didn't like that idea. He didn't even want me to meet his family.  I told him that I wanted my family to meet him because he is the guy that makes me feel like I didn't need to hurt myself to feel good. He still didn't budge.
   There was one day where my grandmother was coming over and I invited him.  He said he would come over.  When he did I saw that he had shaved and he dressed to impress.  I felt good that he was making this decision for me.  My grandma was over for about 10 minutes and he refused to come out of my living room.  I was really confused.  He got a phone call from Mark and he rushed out of the house as if it was on fire.  He told me that he was going to be right back.  I was left on the doorstep waiting for him.  I got suspicious of him, so I called Mark and he said he didn't call Hayden at all.  So, I was really hurt, confused, and mad.  After that, I was calling Hayden's cell phone and he was not answering for hours.  Then he answers and repeatedly told me that Mark was lying and he was at his house helping him with something.
   I let it go because I didn't think I could have dealt with knowing he was cheating or doing drugs.  Then one day we were in his car driving around and he asked me where I wanted to go.  I didn't know where, so i told him, "Just cruise around the city and whatever catches our eyes, one of us will holler." All of a sudden the song  Got To Be Real by Cheryl Lynn started playing, I turned up the song and I started singing and dancing. He kept trying to ask me where I wanted to go and every time he said it louder, I turned up the song.  All of a sudden I saw that he saw red and he slapped me across the face and yelled, "Tell me where you want to go!"  Shocked and totally taken back, I said, "Home is where I want to go!"  He said, "Fine."  He was practically racing the wind when he took me there.  When I got out of the car I said, "Letting you know, we are done and I don't ever want to see you again."  He apologized and said, "Baby, I love you."  I laughed and said to him, "That sounded like it left a bad taste in your mouth. Goodbye."
   I mustered up all my energy to not cry when he hit me, during the ride home, and walking to my door.  But when I opened the door, I started bawling. I never knew what it was like to be hit by a man over a dumb reason. I remember the second his hand hit my face, I had Maury Povich's number running through my head. I had a quick montage of what it would be like to be on the Maury show.
   I was so confused by how he made me feel in the beginning. He let me believe that he truly cared about me and that I meant something.  So, I went on a marijuana and alcohol spree again. I was in that for about 3 months.  By this time, I was loathing myself. I had to be alone.  I was only working a retail job and that was it.  Before work, during breaks, and after work I was smoking marijuana in my car.  I was miserable. I convinced myself that I was not going to pursue my goals in life and I was destined for a life of loneliness.
   One day at work, I saw a new employee.  I literally went weak in the knees the second I saw him.  He had long dark brown hair just passed the shoulders, had liquid golden brown eyes, and a mustache with a goatee.  My heart was immediately captured. I guess its a whole new ball game from here...